I have received questions and concern as to why I am taking a break from social media—a break of indeterminate length—however long I need.
There are many reasons and I will give you a few here.
It sucks away my energy to create.
I get stuck scrolling for lengthy amounts of time because everything is so interesting! So many voices, so many things to learn, to see, to be inspired by. Eventually though, when I break the balance of moderation, this becomes an overload of things going into my brain, psyche, and heart. It takes up the room there that is meant for me to use on something more meaningful than perpetually feeding the inspiration spirits.
I want my time to be mine.
I am not the only one that sits and scrolls; chats with folks; goes down rabbit holes; gets sidetracked with too many ideas. This is what the designers of the app design it (us) to do, they are brilliant at directing us as they will. They want us to buy things, and spend inordinate amounts of time doing so to give them our internet habits so they can reap billions of dollars on OUR TIME. Our time that is much more limited than their desire to keep making their app addictive. I'm tired of being stuck in this gross cycle, and that is what it is on the uglier side of things. It hurts that I am giving up my online friendships in this, but we must lose things in order to make room for others... and hey, I am always here in the real world.
It is not the place for my voice.
We also use these apps for short and brief bits of information—keep scrolling, see as much as possible, like as much as possible, follow as much as possible, get as much attention as possible. I'm not saying each one of us uses it in this way, rather it is the overwhelming general usage. It is pure fire, a raging tempest, that is how the energy of it feels to me. This goes against every cell of my being. I do not engage with the world in this way. I do not create things meant to be consumed in this way. I do not know how to exist—much less shine—in this way. I roll more like a slow creek, always have, always will. I get to where I'm going, but I linger. I stop to fall in love and saturate the path, I seep into the dry areas and meet the places that need water, watching flowers bloom as I drift.
I do not often become a waterfall or a storm. My voice cannot be heard there, and after thirty five years I am giving my voice what it needs and deserves to float out into this world, reaching those who need it. It is mine to do with as I will, and the same goes for us all. May we use it wisely.